


Cold, Room Temperature, but Not Microwaved

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Shenanigans, Silly Arguing, Writing Exercise, john egbert cancelled??, salsa - Freeform, they fight over salsa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:14:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22503082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: i wanted to post this separately from my oneshot book
Relationships: John Egbert/Dave Strider
Kudos: 13





	Cold, Room Temperature, but Not Microwaved

“WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

John’s eyes flicker between the microwave and the blond standing before him. “Heating up salsa? Why?”

“That’s what I thought you absolute buffoon!” Dave over dramatically points and accusatory finger at his boyfriend.

John shrugs. “Okay?”

“You never heat up salsa you heathen!” Dave squints, narrowing his eyes to slits.

“Why not?”

“Because this is basic salsa etiquette Egbert!” The blond wildy gestures, slamming his hand against the open palm of his other hand to emphasize his point.

John just rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s ridiculous antics. “Where the hell do you learn basic salsa etiquette?!”

“You don’t! It’s just common knowledge!” His voice raised an octave, cracking mid-sentence. 

John stifled a laugh. “Your voice cracked.”

“No!”

“Yeah.”

“No way!”

“Yeah huh.”

“Okay, maybe! Don’t change the subject! You can have salsa cold or room temperature, not heated up in the microwave!” He continued his rant with his aggressive gesturing.

John took Dave’s hands in his own, stopping him from his wild flailing. “Okay, point taken. Quiet down shortstack.” He turned, taking his hands out of Dave’s and grabbing the salsa from the microwave in front of him.

“You’re not seriously gonna eat that?” Dave’s face contorted into one of disgust.

“Yes! I’m not wasting perfectly good food that your bro made!”

“Dirk took like five minutes to make it! He can make more! He’ll live!” The blond vehemently insisted.

“No! I’m not wasting food and that’s final.” John said before taking a spoonful of the warm salsa, and pridefully shoving it into his mouth.

“Gross.” Dave protests.

“You’re gross.” He kisses Dave’s forehead. “Now stop whining and come to bed.”

“Fine.” the blond finally gives in. “But don’t get any on the bed.”


End file.
